Zack Attack My Liver

Dennis Haskins, huh.

Good for him. Or not.

Whatever happened.

Guess Mr. Belding is trending.

My phone buzzed. Again.

Kids watching that garbage on some streaming thing. All the time.

Saved By The Bell. Jesus.

It’s always on. That damn theme song.

Gets stuck in your head.

Like a rusty nail.

Screech.

Remember Screech?

Guy was a mess.

Probably still is.

Just like the rest of us.

My kid, the other day. Asked if I ever went to Bayside High.

I told him my high school was called "The Foundry."

And detention was a trip to the ER.

He didn't get it.

Blank stare.

Kids these days.

They think life's a sitcom.

Like everything gets tied up in a neat little bow.

By the end of the episode.

Bullshit.

Life's a never-ending double-shift.

With a hangover.

And no, you don't get a heartfelt speech from Mr. Belding.

You get a bill.

And a pissed-off wife.

And a dog that needs to be walked.

And a leaky faucet you promised to fix three weeks ago.

"Hey, hey, hey, what is going on here?"

What's going on, Mr. Belding?

Another Monday.

That's what's going on.

And another cup of stale coffee.

And the faint taste of regret.

From decisions made after midnight.

Like watching that show again.

Like letting my kid watch that show.

Like thinking I needed another shot of Jameson last night.

My own personal Bayside High.

The one where Zack Morris is the guy who steals your lunch.

And Slater just wants to fight you.

And Lisa Turtle's credit card is maxed out.

And Belding's nowhere to be found.

Probably at The Max.

Eating a burger.

Not giving a shit.

Sounds about right.

I need a beer.

Or maybe a nap.

Yeah. Nap first.

Then beer. For the nap.

It's a system.

Don't judge.

What is going on here, indeed.