Tigers and Cubs: Who Gives a Shit?

So, 'Tigers vs. Cubs' is trending, huh?

Sounds like some bullshit I'd scroll past at 3 AM.

Probably some sports ball crap.

Or maybe a nature show. Who knows?

Who cares, actually.

My cubs are currently eating crayons off the floor.

My tigers are the ones in my head.

Hungover roar, every goddamn morning.

Same old fight.

Me against the world.

Me against myself.

Spoiler: I usually win the 'getting out of bed' round.

Then things go downhill.

Another day, another dollar.

Another drink.

This 'tigers vs. cubs' thing probably stems from some fantasy league.

Or two suburban dads arguing over beers.

I've been there.

Still there, actually. Just not arguing about sports.

More like, arguing with my wife about why 'just one more' was a bad idea.

Again.

My kids think tigers are cool.

They'd vote for the tigers.

They'd also vote for ice cream for dinner.

Their judgment is not to be trusted.

Neither is mine, frankly.

Especially after a long weekend.

Trying to remember if I watched anything good.

Pretty sure it was just blurry Netflix and a lot of self-pity.

The real fight isn't tigers vs. cubs.

It's me vs. the Monday morning meeting.

Me vs. the ever-present crushing weight of responsibility.

Me vs. the empty bottle of whatever I had last night.

Winners and losers.

Mostly losers, if you ask me.

Another stupid trend.

Give me a break.

Give me a drink.

Or a nap.

Preferably both.