Baseball Bullshit Again

Phillies vs. Marlins.

Who gives a shit?

Seriously. Who.

It's Tuesday. I'm still feeling last night. Jamesons and IPAs. Bad combo.

My kid's screaming about some cartoon. Wife's giving me the side-eye.

The world's on fire. My liver's protesting.

And we're supposed to care about some millionaire jocks hitting a ball?

Nah.

I mean, I get it. People like sports. They need something. A distraction.

Lord knows I do.

But my distraction usually involves a bottle. Or a quiet hour in the shitter. With my phone. And maybe a little weed.

Not two teams I couldn't pick out of a lineup. Unless they were wearing their stupid uniforms.

Which, let's be honest, are all pretty much the same.

Red. Blue. Some kinda bird or fish or whatever.

Meaningless.

My buddy, Dave, he's into it. He's probably already lost money on this game.

Fool.

I told him. Save your money. Buy more whiskey.

Better investment.

He says, "It's the thrill of the game! The camaraderie!"

Camaraderie my ass. It's just an excuse to drink beer he can't afford.

Under fluorescent lights. With other dudes who smell like resentment and stale farts.

No thanks.

I'll stick to my porch. My dog. My quiet oblivion.

Maybe I'll even watch a little of the game later. If I'm drunk enough.

And bored out of my mind.

But I won't care.

Not really.

Just another Tuesday. Just another trending topic. Just another reason to pour myself another.